Because I blog in so many places and I don't want the website cluttered with RSS feed's from all over kingdom come I have decided to post each blog entry here notating when and where it originally appeared.
SEX, SEX, SEX
Posted May 17, 2009
Flirty Author Bitches Blog
Got your attention didn’t I. That’s because sex se
lls. It’s a fact. Non negotiable. You put a picture of a semi-nude model, male or female, on the cover of a book and you are going to garner interest ( translation: interest = sales). You use a semi-nude pic of GI Joe and with the exception of a few people you are going to have them pass right by (translation:pass right by =no sales). Yes that’s putting it in very simplistic terms but I’ve been arguing this point for nearly two years and I am really tired of it.
Renders versus Live Models has been the bane of my professional existence from day one. I have good friends who render. I have good friends who are industry famous models. Both camps are filled with people just as passionate on the subject as I am. Hold up. Before I go any further I have to put this disclaimer in here. My opinions about the render industry have nothing to do with the people IN the industry. I respect my render artist friends for their talent at what they do. Just because I have little regard for 90% of the work produced by the industry in no way means I do not hold THEM in high regard. Okay with that said the rant can continue.
Again putting it in very simplistic terms - who would you rather see rolling around on the sheets - GI Joe and Ken or oh…I don’t know… how about CJ Hollenbach and Julian Fantechi? For those voting for GI Joe and Ken you might want to just go ahead and toddle off. This blog is definitely not for you. For the rest of us voting for the CJ and Julian fantasy smack down (lol I couldn’t resist) I have to ask- Why don’t the publishers get this? Time and time again I keep getting slammed with either “readers don’t care about the covers as much as you think” or “Bottom line babe. We’re here to make money and model shoots cost too much. Renders are cost effective and the way of the future. Deal with it.”
Deep Breath
Yes I can hear each and every one of you saying WTF!
Take another deep breath and I’ll go on.
The first fifty times I heard this I was new to the publishing biz. I had very few people to consult who knew enough about the industry to help me understand or convince me what was what. I took it on the cheek and kept going. Then I got knocked on my ass by an internet harpy who said I was childishly naïve about the business and should simply pack up my crayons and go home. Sooooo, after picking myself up off the floor, I reached out to a few people. By some weird twist of fate I tripped over a cover model who happens to be very business savvy. Bless his heart he took the time to explain “the cover art” biz in little words so I would be sure to get it all. He broke it down to - yes publishers are in the business to make money but no it doesn’t cost THAT much to hire a model to do a shoot. Yes renders are the way of the future but no he wasn’t sure it was going to last because readers are picky about covers and it would –in his humble opinion- swing back around. Yes fans do care that the model on the cover doesn’t look anything like the hero in the book and no he didn’t understand why publishers weren’t getting the message. Yes he was getting booked for shoots so obviously someone still wanted live models on their covers and no he didn’t have any plans for next Thursday- dinner would be fine. Ooops…. TMI…. ahem….he educated me about the cover model business over the course of about ten e-mails but I got it loud and clear. Use of renders versus live models was up to each individual publisher and I would have to be careful who to sub to if I did not want GI Joe and Ken on my covers under the covers as it were.
So here we are back at the core question. Your fingers are walking thru the online catalogue of an e-publisher or braving the elements to go to your local bookstore. Which cover is going to entice you to buy that 8.99 book? GI Joe giving Ken his come hither plastic gaze or CJ and Julian rolling around on a king size bed wearing nothing but a 1000 count Egyptian cotton sheet? Sorry but my money’s on the sheet. How about you?
TTFN
AERYN
Am I a Writer Yet?
Posted May 16, 2009
aeryntraxx.blogspot.com
In preparation for a conference I will be attending in a few weeks I have been talking to a lot of people. I don’t do well in crowds and it was suggested by my therapist- yes that kind of therapist- that I should take the time to meet people on the internet that will be attending this thing. This way it would be more like meeting up with friends rather than jumping into the coliseum with the word victim stamped on my forehead.
I made a few contacts and was pleased with the way things were going until I ran into someone who said that because I was not published I was not a real writer and she had nothing to say to me. I was a little shocked at her response but let it go as just another one of those internet harpies I obviously rubbed the wrong way. The upside to being dis’d was it did make me stop and ask myself: When am I officially a USDA inspected and approved writer?
Is it when your first piece shows up in print? Well...I wrote for the school newspaper in high school (student body population 960) so that would make me a writer since the late 70’s.
Is it when you sub something to a publisher for the first time? Hmmm…I submitted poetry to a few anthologies back in the early 80’s.
Is it when you put stuff on the internet to share with others in a public forum? Let’s see…I put my first blog up on my MySpace page in July 2008.
Or is it perhaps the moment you put pen/pencil to paper and wrote your first words of a piece. I’ve been writing since I was 12 and I’ll turn 48 on July 1st. If that’s the case then I have been a writer for a VERY long time.
So what do you think? At what moment in time will you, or did you, consider yourself a real writer?
TTFN
AERYN
Are You Fucking Kidding Me??????
Posted May1, 2009
Flirty Author Bitches Blog
For the writers among you the concept of a muse is accepted. For the readers in the audience it may be a bit unsettling to hear writers talk about invisible people that only writers can see or hear. But after hanging around writers for awhile it becomes commonplace. A rather terse e-mail from a woman the other day regarding the ramblings on a list about my muse has prompted this blog. The woman, who I’ll call Agatha because I really can’t stand that name, is neither a writer or a reader of what I write. I know- that fact alone should have kept the e-mail from getting any further than the delete button. But being the open minded person I am I read the whole thing AND responded with a rather polite thank you. BUT it did give me something to blog about. So, Agatha, if you’re out there and reading this…..Kiss My Ass. Yep. I said it and I meant it. For the rest of you, please read on.
Jaymes is my muse. I hired him from the temp service Fairy Godparents and Muses Inc. last May. He was hired to stand in for Delfyne, the muse I had since I turned 12 and she showed up in my bedroom in her Grecian outfit accompanied by her dog Ralph. Delfyne and I had a little misunderstanding about changing from writing Male/Female historical romance to strictly M/M in any subgenre. She took off for Vegas with Ralph and I found Jaymes. Again, for the writers out there this makes perfect sense. For the readers well…..not much I can say by way of explanation. This is how writer’s minds work and why we get the looks we get in the mall when we people watch. But back to Jaymes and the reason Agatha was madder then a wet hen when she e-mailed me.
Jaymes first and foremost is a construct. He has the looks of a model friend and the voice of a musician I happen to be in serious lust with. He has attitude issues, likes to think his word is law and like me is easily distracted by a good looking guy in a pair of very tight jeans. Oh yeah!!!!! Stonewashed 501’s really do the trick…….Ahem, back to Agatha. The reason Agatha was so upset, it seems, was because Jaymes, a product of MY overactive imagination and inability to keep my head out of men’s pants is portrayed as gay.
GASP! A GAY MUSE?!
No doubt. He gets all starry eyed whenever we talk about Jaime’s muse Timothy. And you can forget about getting any work done when AJ talks about John Barrowman. Jaymes just gets this glazed look in his eyes and walks out of my head for a few hours. Anyway, Agatha’s beef amounted to the rights of my muse to be straight. She said, in the span of a three page e-mail, I had no right to make him gay.
WHAT?? Are You Fucking Kidding Me?
He’s a figment of my imagination. I can make him yellow, pink or purple, from the planet Saturn, gay, straight, asexual or bi if I want to. I’ll say this again-he is a product of MY over sexed imagination. Ah but there’s the problem she said. You created a being not unlike giving birth to a child and predisposing them to be of a particular sexual orientation is unjust.
HUH? WHAT?
I write about two guys having sex. Why in the world would I create a muse that is straight? And of course the follow up question would be Why are you messing around at a website that is advertised very clearly to be for a writer of GAY ROMANCE? And therein is the real reason I brought dear old misguided Agatha to this blog today. Being gay is not a choice any more than being straight is a choice. We are each hardwired at conception to be who we are. Railing at a gay man or woman about their sexual orientation is a waste of time. Telling me I have no right to envision Jaymes as gay is an even bigger waste of time. I have no clue why Jaymes' sexual preference would bother someone but then again I have never understood the entire California gay pogo stick – we allow gay marriage, now we don’t – thing. Nuff said. I’ll blog about gay marriage and the idiots who oppose it another day.
So, in closing I have just one last thing to say to Agatha and any pinhead or dimwit out there who wants to stomp on my right to be gay and have a gay muse. I would ask you to please take another look at the disclaimer on the home page of my website after which I cordially invite you to BITE ME!! TTFN
Aeryn
Size Does Matter
posted April 1, 2009
Flirty Author Bitches Blog
My long suffering partner made a comment that has been running laps in my head for some time now. While helping me go thru a mountainous stack of WIP’s he innocently opined “Why are all your main characters at least six feet tall? You have a problem with short guys?” Knowing that he had gone to the doctor for a physical recently and was told he had lost a quarter of an inch in height and was now officially five foot eleven and three quarters I just smiled and said “No. Not sure I ever noticed that fact before. Here, have another rice cake.” Fact is …….I’m a snob. Yep…only had one BF in my entire life that was under six feet tall. It lasted exactly three months and was doomed from the start. And yeah I know all my main characters are tall. It’s a pre-requisite. When I storyboard one of my pieces I look thru an extensive list of modeling and acting portfolios. If the guy isn’t six foot or over-he doesn’t even get a second look. Used to have a long list of other don’ts: no blondes, no tattoos, no piercings, no thongs, the list went on and on. Used to-that list is gone. Wrote a piece that has a blonde, tattooed, thonged and multi-pierced main character that my beta’s are getting hard over, so that list has been banished. The six foot minimum stays tho. Sorry short guys-Trin, Ame, Lisa (yeah the other Lisa too) or Lex might have some work for you. I’ll let them know you’re available. LOL
I’m five seven. I’m a romantic. I love to cuddle. I love walking on the beach hand in hand, I love to…..well we won’t go into that just yet….ahem. All the slots and tabs fit just right with a guy who’s six foot or taller. Everything I want is eye level whether I’m standing or kne……uh…..laying on the bed beside him. And of course tall men have big hands and big feet which translates into big other things as well, at least according to old wive’s tales. (Trust me…..those old ladies knew what they were talking about.)
Uh…where was I again? Oh yeah. Tall heroes. What other kind are there? I can’t see a six foot four bad guy getting offed by a five nine stable boy. Do the math! The swords were close to four feet long. Big hands, big feet required to handle those things. Can you imagine my hero dragging his sword thru the mud……uhm…..the steel sword in the jeweled scabbard… (cough). And the love scenes? No offense to the real couples in the real world but I write romantic fantasies. If I can’t live vicariously thru the characters I write then I just can’t seem to write convincing dialog. Five eight alpha Ranulf telling six three Bryce he wants to ride him till the cows come home gives me a case of the giggles. My mind is doing a mental Tetris with their bodies. The Twister theme from my youth is ringing in my ears….gigglefest at full tilt.
In closing-just to make sure everyone is straight on the facts: Yes my heroes are all six feet tall or over, all with large hands and large feet so they can handle those big unwieldy swords of theirs and keep their partners healthy, happy and by their sides. Size does matter………. that came out so wrong………
TTFN
AERYN
Do You Want To Know How Long It Is?
Posted March 19 2009
Flirty Author Bitches Blog
To make my website a little more interesting I have been doing interviews. They are are NOT the “send me a list of questions-I’ll answer-you print them-we’re done” kind of interview. They are interactive thru yahoo I/M between my victim…er….subject and me. I do not ask the same bloody questions everyone else has asked. I do a lot of research and spend a lot of time getting to know the person I am going to interview. I look at old interviews, join groups that are fans of that person and talk to lots of people one on one before I jot down my questions, load them up in I/M and let ‘er rip. Simple really……Until today. And after today I might have to hang up my journalism shingle in the bathroom-never to be brought out again.
Six months ago I asked a very famous and well respected model if he would mind being interviewed for my website. He is a very talented writer as well as being drop dead gorgeous. He said yes, we’ll hook up blah,blah,blah. Being as busy as we both are we never found a time we would both be free to do this thing so I put it off. Until now. The interview is on the horizon- time to do the research. I dug into the deepest recesses of the internet, found old interviews-check. Joined some groups to get ideas for questions that people might want to ask him if given the chance-check. One on one talks with his fans-OMG!!! Who are these people and thank god no one knows anything about me. My last “chat” was last night and it went on for almost THREE HOURS-with one little old lady!!!!!
Now most of the people who know me know I am fundamentally shy. Yes I said SHY. I don’t like crowds. I don’t like people asking me personal questions. I don’t like celebrity at ALLLLLL. Being a DJ sorta cured me of ever wanting to be in the limelight. Another story for another day as Lex would say. SOOOO Granny what’s her name is a sweet woman with a very active life that includes keeping tabs on my modeling friend. She talks about him as if he were one of her 17 grandkids. This woman knows EVERYTHING there is to know about this man. Half the information she was offering me I really DID NOT want to know….talk about TMI. I may look at nude pics and drool like everyone else but this guy happens to be a friend, all be it a cyber friend, but someone I care very deeply for. And honestly there are some things I just do not want to know about my friends. But being the professional I am I let her go, dropping in questions every now and then because she really was enjoying talking about her favorite subject-sorry grandkids that’s what she said.
I spent the time jotting questions into the computer, absently making notes of possible alternate questions in the event the conversation took a left turn. Until she said “Do you want to know how long it is?” WHAT?? Coke all over the keyboard, papers went flying and if she hadn’t been on speaker phone I would have dropped the phone!
My mind was racing-please tell me that’s not what she said, please tell me that’s not what she said. “Dearie are you still there? Me and the girls were just talking about this the other day and we think he has the best looking ……..” NO!! WAIT. DON’T TELL ME! I was punching buttons on the new phone and reaching for the handset and she was cutting in and out. Stop laughing. I know you”d be anxious to find out that little tidbit of info. And maybe if it was someone I did not know on a personal level I probably would have been anxiously jotting down measurements. But he is a friend and I have no interest in what he has going on between the navel and the knees. So I hit a few more buttons and kept from hearing the pertinent info. Thanked Granny for her time and hung up.
It’s been about 24 hours now since I hung up with Granny what’s her name, replaced the keyboard on the desktop computer and transfered the notes from our discussion into a file for this interview. But sadly, I think I’m going to have to bag this interview. I’m really afraid I’ll be toast when he answers the question “I hear you have recently finished penning a romance novel.” Because with my luck he’s going to answer “As a matter of fact I have. Do you want to know how long it is?”
TTFN
Aeryn
