Aeryn Traxx

      As I sit and wait anxiously for the rejection or acceptance of my very first short story I find myself going over all the things I have been told, warned about, advised against, counciled on and in general, overwhelmed by in the past 2 years. Mind you I have been writing since I was 16 so I had a lot of years to learn everything there is to know about the shark infested waters of the writing biz. But no...I was blissfully ignorant of so many things. With that in mind I thought I would jot down a few musings, ten to be exact, of things I did NOT find in any of the idiot guides, dummy guides, Strunk and White or Writers Market that have proved helpful in the past twenty four months.

10. Every single person you interact with today will have a place in one of your books. From the irritating cashier at the mart to the dog you hold in your lap as you watch television, they will all, at one time or another, reappear in your books. Don't believe me? Go back to a piece you wrote or were working on six months ago when you were depressed about your partner telling you your ass looked fat in those black jeans. If you look hard enough I guarantee he will be in there somewhere.

9. Time out ain't just for the little kids. There will be many times in your burgeoning career when you are tempted, nay prodded by either your ego or your conscience, to push yourself too far. Stay up too late one night too many, over- commit yourself, join too many groups-you name it-at some point you are going to come to a screeching halt because your body and/or mind is going to simply stop functioning the way you want it to. Give yourself permission to stop for an hour, an afternoon, a day, or even a week. Take a time out until you can approach your writing with open arms once again.

8. There is no set formula for writing a short story, novella, novel or epic. The books all say if you sit down for x amount of minutes every night and write words on paper after so any nights you should have a finished product in your hand. Uh...they're wrong. FOR SOME that theorum may hold true but for 98% of the rest of us- not hardly. Just because I sit down at the same time every night does not guarantee that the freaking muse is going to be free at the same time. Jaymes is a great muse but the man loves to flirt and just because I'm ready to work does not guarantee he is. So not every night is going to add words to that novel or novella...oh well. My advice is to try and make time every day or night-whatever fits into your schedule and use it to YOUR best advantage. Blogging, bitching, barking or burning up the page with your prose - do somethng, anything, that will further your writing career.

7. Editors are people too. They are not an alien life form that has come to screw up your life. They do not get up in the morning and say "Who's life am I going to fuck with today?" While it is tempting to think that and as a newb I bought into that myth for a long time, but I am here to tell you-they have navels just like the rest of us. They can have family problems, money problems, daycare issues and inlaws they would love to have disappear off the face of the earth. They break bones and have feelings just like you and me. So when you get a rejection that has a snarky remark-let it go. Chalk it up to stress. If you get a form letter rejection with just a box checked off as to why you didn't get picked up, chalk it up to the editor having to hurry to school to pick up a sick child. It's not personal. You sent something to be reviewed for a possible contract. They found reasons not to pick you up. Case closed. 

6. Sacrifice. Before you go any further into your career you need to identify what this word means and how it applies to both you AND your immediate family. If you try and work around the word it will grab you in the ass when you least expect it. As an example:

The day will come when you get a contract and you put off the final edits because you want to spend one day with your dad, one day at the zoo with a niece or nephew or perhaps even your own child. You want to spend an entire Friday night cuddling. You want to spend an entire Sunday watching football, entertaining friends who treat your living room like the Grand Central Station and smooching with your hottie when you think no one is looking. Tempting!! And if you don't already have a plan in place to address the final edit issue you are going to sacrifice way more than you need to. The family is not going to understand what an all nighter means. You will sacrifice money (pizza for four can get very expensive when you tack on the guilt purchase of soda's and desert) and respect (daddy, why is daddy sleeping on his pizza?). Multiply this by three, four or even five times and the word sacrifice takes on a frightening form. In this case the deadline date should have been addressed immediately, red x's on the calendar when you would be unavailable, then sticking to your guns on the editing. Sacrificing family time to work a second job-and make no mistake this is a second job- sucks. Been there, done that and got grabbed big time when I wasn't looking. 

5. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, has the right to question what you write, why you write or who you write for. Not your family, not your friends, colleagues, people in your yahoo groups, the guy who runs the author hour at the B&N, and most certainly not the harpy tongued brainless wonders that seem to come out of the woodwork at the drop of a hat on the net. Somewhere along the way these "people" lost their way and are taking it out on the newbs. I've been flamed, stabbed and vilified. The last gang bang I stuck around for to try and defend myself had me pretty much crucified for my beliefs that mediocrity may be the norm but I was holding out for perfection. I am not ashamed to say I cried like a baby for days. I packed up everything but the lap top and was set to wave goodbye to my muse and my writing career until three wonderful men came to my rescue. I know you're asking yourself - what the hell does this have to do with newbie writer advice? Hold on- the pay off is worth the wait.

As I said, I was bidding a fond farewell to hopes and dreams when an e-mail popped up from DJ Manly, one of the hottest M/M writers on the planet if I do say so myself. "Hi hon. How is the writing coming along?" Of course I had to type with one hand, the other holding tissues to stem the flood of tears pouring from my eyes. After I hit send on the novella I was sending my defacto mentor explaining how my hopes and dreams were scheduled to leave town on the next bus yadda, yadda, yadda, I got a hasty reply. "Listen, write from your heart and write what needs to be written. If you need me I'm here. Hugs DJ." My first knight in shining armour had arrived, dropped off heartfelt advice and marched back to his castle. 

Less then 24 hours later as I was hesitantly unpacking my writing 'things' another innocent e-mail popped up. This time from AJ Llewellyn, the other hottest M/M writer on the planet. "Hey, How's that novel coming along? Can't wait to read another excerpt. hint hint  AJ." Again I reached for wads of tissues to stem the flow of tears as I typed one handed to my other defacto mentor. The short story I was typing for him outlined my stabbing by the harpy sisters, my purchase of tickets to send hopes and dreams out of town, packing said hopes and dreams, and lastly DJ's advice that had given me pause. After hitting send I once again got a hasty reply. "Hon, they aren't worth your time or tears. Unpack everything and get back to work on the novel. I expect to see a new excerpt in a couple of days. Love, AJ." My second knight in shining armour had arrived, dropped off heartfelt advice along with a little nudge then he too marched back to his castle. Mind you neither of these men knew me other than thru a yahoo group we all belonged to. Yet here they were, reassuring me in the simplest terms to screw the nay sayers and get back to work.

And now the tale of my third knight and how he set me firmly on the course to be a published writer. A course I will never doubt or waiver from again. He has no idea the part he played in helping me and would simply say "happy to help" if I tried to explain so I haven't tried. But because there is a lesson to be learned here I want to share, in brief, what happened. I had been e-mailing a male book cover model for weeks about the book cover business since one of the things the harpy sisters crucified me for was my desire to have live models on my covers. I've been in book stores all my life and know for a fact 50% of the appeal of a book is in the cover. Blurbs and excerpts come in second, reviews etc and word of mouth last. After weeks of bugging the crap out of him (and being the gentleman he is ...he never complained) I finally asked in frustration "What the hell am I going to do if they want to slap a crappy cover on my piece when I know no one will give it a second look because the cover sucks??" No hasty reply from my model friend-my day is half over when he's climbing out of bed but the next day I did get his simple response. " A. Then don't settle for a crappy cover. You wouldn't settle for crappy editing or bad typeset so why would you settle for a crappy cover? CJ" My third knight in shining armor had dropped off advice along with a smile and sauntered back to his castle. Good looking AND smart - be still my beating heart.

Three wonderful men, with very simple answers to what I thought were questions that could only be answered by a religious zealot on some mountain top in Tibet. I owe them a debt I will never be able to repay except to pass along the advice they gave me. Write from the heart, write what needs to be written. The harpies of the world are not worth your time or tears. And don't settle for anything less than what you feel your work deserves. I am blessed with supportive friends and family but it was my three knights that gave me the courage and strength to follow my heart. And that is the point I have been trying to make - follow your heart.

4. There is no such thing as a stupid question. OKAY!! I know you've heard the phrase a bazillion times but bear with me for one more go round. You are going to come up with questions one right after the other and pretty much on a daily, if not hourly basis. Yes, there are tons of books to look thru for answers. Yes, there are websites you can weed through to ferret out information-do whatever you have to do to get the answer to that question. No matter how stupid or insignificant you think the question is you need to find the answer if only to set your mind at ease. Otherwise it is going to distract you from your writing. Find the answer and then move on.

3. It's not a crime to ask for help-which goes hand in hand with number 4. I've checked with several law enforcement hotties......uh police officers and they have confirmed that you cannot be arrested or fined for asking for help with your writing. I have contacted best selling erotic authors, editors, production companies, website designers and models. I have spent countless hours in chats, yahoo groups and author hour at Barnes & Noble. With only a few exceptions nearly all my pleas for assistance have been met with offers of help. The writing community is filled with diverse individuals that have unique perspectives and a willingness to lend a hand. This is a resource no one talks about in any writer's guide I have in my bookcase and at last count I have 27.

As long as you understand that the people you are talking to have limits to what they can do for you without you needing to cough up money for their advice. I know that's a bit confusing so here's an example. It's okay to ask a managing editor if their e-pub is into purple-haired temptresses on the high seas cavorting with green skinned cabin boys. It's NOT okay for you to ask if that editor thinks the e-pub would be interested in YOUR book about said temptresses and cabin boys. Another example would be discussing web design with a web designer. If you're having problems importing info into your website you could probably get away with asking the designer WHY it's not working. DO NOT ask them to help you solve the problem. That's what they do for a living. Don't put them in an uncomfortable position or worse -leary of opening your e-mails for fear you're going to ask for another freebie. In short-As long as you understand professional insight is one thing and professional help is another, feel free to approach just about anyone in the writing industry. If they feel it is something you need to pay for in order for them to help you they will be very up front about it otherwise they will be very helpful. And remember, before too long you're going to be at the other end of a request for help- sobering thought isn't it?

2. Do not apologize or be embarased about what you write. I can hear you shaking your head and saying "Yeah right-you have no idea what my family would say if ......" You're wrong. I do know all about the backlash. I come from a family of Catholics and Born Again Christians and I write M/M gay fiction. I'll give you a sec for that to sink in..........................

You heard me right. Catholic parents and I write about gay men having hot, boiling-over-the-edge-of-the-pan, steamy sex. And if I must say so myself I do a pretty good job at it. Problem is, I could be on the best seller list for 52 weeks and it wouldn't make a damn bit of a difference. My family would still take great pleasure in hanging me from the nearest tree by my dangling bits. It's sad-yes. It's unfortunate-to be certain. But as I said before I will not apologize for what I write and refuse to be embarased about it either.

Pen Names help. Supportive friends take the place of family members who have chosen to sever all ties with you until you can see the error of your ways. Without a doubt there are going to be times when you get so frustrated you just want to scream. Screaming helps, so does crying. But here's the thing. Your muse does not give a flying fuck if family approves of what you're writing. Your muse is there to poke and prod you to pull stuff out of YOUR head. Ideas that YOU have decided might make a good story. Logic at this point says: My thoughts, My words, My story, My life, My dream, My choice. No apologies necessary.

1. And the number one piece of advice I can give anyone who wishes to join the huddled masses of underappreciated writers is this... ready?... I know you'll be surprised...okay here it is...

                             TRUST YOURSELF

 Yep, that's the one. So simple you'd think it was in all the books. But it isn't.

Friends will tell you what they think you want to hear. Life Partners and current significant others are going to be supportive for fear of getting cut off for a week to seven days - until you either stop crying, put the sharp object down or come back home. Publishers will sometimes tell you your piece is crap because it doesn't meet their needs-not because it is truly crap. Well...unless you take a second look and say to yourself ...What the hell was I thinking? This is crap. Trust yourself on that one. Don't send that baby out again without a thorough overhaul.

Bottom line is this-feedback, input and advice are nice but when it comes to the moment of truth it is your ass on the line. You will be the one to face the acceptance or rejection of your work. You will be the one they come to with questions or offers. If you have a doubt -don't. If you have a reservation about something-step back. And for heaven's sake if the warning bells are going off in your head- run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. You may not be conscious of what is not right, but before you take one more step forward it is imparative you figure it out. One wrong move and you've signed away your rights to compensation for a movie deal, or foreign royalties, or something REALLY important. Trust yourself- if it helps then write it on an index card and tack it to the wall above your computer. They are truly words to live by.